Geez Kid Cant Even Read Billy Madison

Baton Madison Quotes

Billy Madison is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Billy Madison stopped airing in 1970.

It features Robert Simonds as producer, Randy Edelman in charge of musical score, and Victor Hammer as head of cinematography.

Baton Madison is recorded in English language and originally aired in United states of america. Each episode of Billy Madison is 89 minutes long. Billy Madison is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Josh Mostel as Principal, Adam Sandler as Baton Madison, Norm Macdonald as Frank, Chris Farley every bit Passenger vehicle Driver, Darren McGavin as Brian Madison, Bradley Whitford every bit Eric, Dina Platias as Miss Lippy, Theresa Merritt equally Juanita, Bridgette Wilson as Veronica Vaughn, Josh Mostel as Main Max Anderson, Mark Beltzman as Jack, Steve Buscemi every bit Danny McGrath, and Larry Hankin every bit Carl.

Baton Madison Quotes

Adam Sandler equally Billy Madison

(Adam Sandler) "You BLEW Information technology."

(Adam Sandler) "# Suntan balm is good for me. / You protect me, hee-hee-hee. #"

(Adam Sandler) "You fallin' in love with the wall or somethin?"
(Ernie) "I had an accident."
(Adam Sandler) "Y'all had an blow? What'due south that supposed to mean; GOO."

(Adam Sandler) "Bunt. B-U-Due north-T, in perfect cursive. Any more brain busters?"
(Bridgette Wilson) ""Rizzuto"?"
(Bridgette Wilson) "Rirruto?"
(Adam Sandler) "Those're Z's."
(Bridgette Wilson) "They look like R'south to me."
(Adam Sandler) "That'due south not fair. Rizzuto's not a word. He'due south a baseball player. Y'all're cheating."

(Adam Sandler) "Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The function of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an 60 minutes. He didn't put posters upwards or annihilation, he just sabbatum on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'Yous got a pet. You got a responsibleness.' If your dog gets lost you don't await for an hr then call it quits. You get your ass out at that place and you find that fucking canis familiaris."

(Unnamed) "How'south loftier school Billy?"
(Adam Sandler) "High school is neat. I mean I'm learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very overnice. It'due south bang-up."
(Unnamed) "Gee, I tin can't wait till I become to "hike" schoolhouse."
(Adam Sandler) "Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it."

(Adam Sandler) "Now you're all in big, BIG trouble."

(Adam Sandler) "Eric drinks his own pee."

(Adam Sandler) "You lot want some more than of that? I didn't think so."

(Tiffin Lady) "Have some more sloppy joes. I fabricated 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how y'all kids like 'em sloppy."
(Adam Sandler) "Lady, you're scaring us."

(Unnamed) "Speak for yourself, Moron."
(Adam Sandler) "Ha ha ha, oh my GOD that is funny."

(Adam Sandler) "Man, I'grand glad I called that guy."

(Adam Sandler) "Hey, Carl. What'south upward?"
(Larry Hankin) "Nothing much, Billy. I see you got a little sun today."
(Adam Sandler) "You remember so? I fell asleep by the puddle for a few hours."
(Bradley Whitford) "Did you lot fall comatose or did you laissez passer out?"
(Adam Sandler) "Shut upward."

(Adam Sandler) "OW. Your tearing my ear off."
(Bridgette Wilson) "Making fun of a footling child for trying to read. Are you psycho? Practise you not have a soul?"
(Adam Sandler) "I'm sorry I can't hear you. I've been physically driveling in the ear."
(Bridgette Wilson) "You keep your oral fissure shut for the next two weeks or I'thou going to fail yous. End of story."
(Adam Sandler) "I see your lips moving but I can't brand out the words. I'yard deaf. Oh Veronica Vaughn so hot want to touch on the heiney."
(Adam Sandler) "Arrroooooooo."

(Adam Sandler) "Oh, I CAN -- and i WILL."

(Adam Sandler) "I bet that snack pack is pretty good huh?"
(Adam Sandler) "Wanna merchandise me the residual of it for this banana?"
(Adam Sandler) "You know how desperately I could vanquish you, right?"

(Adam Sandler) "Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the pilus silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really."
(Adam Sandler) "Stop looking at me, swan."

(O'Doyle (Grade 12)) "O'Doyle rules."
(Adam Sandler) "O'Doyle, I've got a feeling your whole family'due south going down."

(Adam Sandler) "Suntan balm is good for me. Yous protect me; tee hee hee. Oh the sun tries to burn me but you won't let it; will ya? Ultraviolet rays bad. Balm practiced."
(Adam Sandler) "Smiley."

(Unnamed) "Spell "couch"."
(Unnamed) "Burrow. C-O-W --"
(Adam Sandler) "No."
(Unnamed) "No, I'm sorry, that'south not right."
(Unnamed) "Well, Billy, if you spell this correctly you lot pass second form."
(Adam Sandler) "Couch. C-O-R, uh, are you going to the mall today?"
(Unnamed) "No I'm not goin to the mall, keep spelling, mister."
(Adam Sandler) "C-O-U-C-H."
(Unnamed) "Correct."
(Adam Sandler) "I AM THE SMARTEST MAN Live."

(Adam Sandler) "I recollect Crazy Carl is correct."

(Adam Sandler) "It's too damn hot for a penguin to be merely walkin' around hither. I gotta send him back to the S Pole."

(Knibb Loftier Principal) "If there is whatever endeavour for either contestant to cheat, particularly with my wife, who is a dingy, dirty, tramp, I am simply gonna snap. Do I make myself clear?"
(Adam Sandler) "Yes, Sir."
(Bradley Whitford) "Yep, Sir."

(Adam Sandler) "Give me i more than chance, I'll prove I tin have over. I'll practice annihilation it takes. I'll get dorsum to high school and take the exams once more, and I'll get the diploma all by myself."
(Darren McGavin) "Billy, Billy, information technology wasn't just high schoolhouse."

(Adam Sandler) "Alright, boys nighttime out. Let's go."

(Adam Sandler) "You know I similar Snack Pack. Why tin can't you just give me a Snack Pack?"
(Theresa Merritt) "I thought I was your snack pack."

(Adam Sandler) "How 'bout you Sideburns? You desire some of this milk?"
(Rollo the Janitor) "I'd rather have a beer."

(Adam Sandler) "Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW Information technology UP."
(Unnamed) "I dare you to impact her boobs."
(Adam Sandler) "Affect her boobs? That's assault brotha. Yous double dare me?"
(Adam Sandler) "Uhhh Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long at that place's to get there, I need to become to the bathroom."
(Bridgette Wilson) "Not too long at present --"
(Adam Sandler) "Oh, I'm sorry. Damn motorbus driver drives like an animal."
(Bridgette Wilson) "That's alright, Billy, why don't you go back and sit now?"
(Bridgette Wilson) "I double cartel you lot."
(Adam Sandler) "That -- tit -- blow --"
(Bridgette Wilson) "Go dorsum to your seat now."
(Adam Sandler) "-- I -- Yeah --"

(Unnamed) "Yous got a misshaped head."
(Adam Sandler) "Thank you."

(Adam Sandler) "Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one."
(Dina Platias) "Well, I think information technology's an excellent blueish duck. Congratulations Baton, you simply passed the first grade."
(Adam Sandler) "Wow, Miss Lippy, that's dandy. What do y'all recall of that Mr. Blueish Duck?"
(Adam Sandler) "That'south quacktastic."

(Adam Sandler) "Chlorophyll? More than like BOREophyll."

(Adam Sandler) "Where'southward my snack pack?"
(Theresa Merritt) "You got a assistant, you don't need no snack pack."

(Adam Sandler) "Dorsum to schoolhouse. Dorsum to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed upward, my boots tied tight, I promise I don't become in a fight. Ohhhh, dorsum to schoolhouse. Back to school. Back to school. Well, hither goes nothing."

(Adam Sandler) "Merely DO It."

(Unnamed) "Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-thursday-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a yard-one thousand-daughter"
(Adam Sandler) "Kid can't fifty-fifty read"
(Ernie) "Cut information technology out dude your gonna get us in trouble."
(Adam Sandler) "T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR."

(Adam Sandler) "No I volition not brand out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Homo up at that place talking about God knows what and all she can talk most is making out with me. I'g here to larn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll."

Bridgette Wilson equally Veronica Vaughn

(Bridgette Wilson) "So information technology's um, the last day of third grade, and you have the teacher alone in your tent, what practise y'all desire to exercise?"
(Adam Sandler) "Well I can call up of three things I'd like to practice. One would involve some water ice cubes and a nine iron. 2 would include a buffalo --"
(Bridgette Wilson) "Really?"
(Adam Sandler) "-- Alive or stuffed, preferably blimp for safety sake, and iii, nosotros bring back some of those water ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge."

(Bridgette Wilson) "Norman invasion of England."
(Adam Sandler) "1066."
(Bridgette Wilson) "That is right. The Magna Carta."
(Adam Sandler) "1215."
(Bridgette Wilson) "Yes. Spanish Armada."
(Adam Sandler) "1466. '67. 1469. 1514. 1981? 1986? Please practise not do that. Come up on, I swear -- Merely hang in there one 2nd. Please, God, give me the answer."

(Bridgette Wilson) "Y'all recollect he's horny? Come up hither."

(Bridgette Wilson) "And so what's information technology similar, being back in school?"
(Adam Sandler) "I don't know. I kinda experience like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out."

(Bridgette Wilson) "No milk will ever exist our milk."

(Bridgette Wilson) "Don't you think information technology'southward a little pathetic that but because of who your is Father, you get to do school all over once more?"
(Darren McGavin) "Yeah, I do."

(Bridgette Wilson) "You lot know some people have no will power, no ambition. They just drift through life similar lumps of crap."
(Marker Beltzman) "What is she talking nearly?"

(Bridgette Wilson) "Practiced morning, class."
(Unnamed) "Practiced morning time, Miss Vaughan."
(Bridgette Wilson) "We're going to start today by reading together a curt story entitled "My Sister Fanny"."
(Bridgette Wilson) "Quiet. And then let's all open our "Reading Is Fun" books to page threescore ix."
(Adam Sandler) "Sixty nine."

(Bridgette Wilson) "Don't I have a dainty rack?"

Norm Macdonald as Frank

(Norm Macdonald) "When I graduated commencement grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job."

(Norm Macdonald) "I think Billy and his girlfriend are playing h2o polo or something."
(Mark Beltzman) "Hey, maybe they're playing Marco Polo. Marco."
(Norm Macdonald) "Polo. Jeez, that was a great game."

(Norm Macdonald) "Who would yous rather bone, Million Ryan or Jack Nicholson?"
(Adam Sandler) "Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?"
(Norm Macdonald) "'74."
(Adam Sandler) "Million Ryan."

Darren McGavin as Brian Madison

(Darren McGavin) "Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to detect whatever it is yous are looking for?"
(Adam Sandler) "Here's a squeamish piece of shit."

(Darren McGavin) "What a mess. First this psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it, and now Eric'southward secretarial assistant is in a coma. Carl, has anybody been able to find out anything about this Max guy?"
(Larry Hankin) "No, sir. He's vanished. Nobody has any idea where he is."
(Bradley Whitford) "I believed in Baton all along, sir."
(Adam Sandler) "Oh, cutting the horseshit. I know you blackmailed Max."
(Darren McGavin) "Accept it easy, Billy. Things were going along neat until this wrestling freak messed things upward. Billy should go another shot at high school."
(Bradley Whitford) "Hey, rules are rules. Baton was supposed to stop each grade within the 2 weeks or I get the company. He didn't stop ninth course."
(Larry Hankin) "Eric, certainly there are extenuating circumstances."
(Bradley Whitford) "Extenuating, "exschmenuating". We had a deal. A signed, written deal. Each class, two weeks, or I get the company."
(Darren McGavin) "Well, technically yous're correct, but --"
(Bradley Whitford) "Oh, shut up, Brian. I've had to listen to your jawing for also long. "Well, technically -- " Apathetic, apathetic, blah. Just shut upward. So, are you ready to manus the visitor over to me now?"
(Darren McGavin) "No."
(Bradley Whitford) "And then, I'll run into your donkey in court."
(Darren McGavin) "Skilful."
(Bradley Whitford) "Nice talkin' to ya, shitheads."

(Darren McGavin) "You lot remember that spelling bee yous won in the 1st class?"
(Adam Sandler) "Oh no, you didn't."
(Darren McGavin) "Stone? "r-o-k"?"
(Adam Sandler) "Yea, so what'due south your point?"
(Darren McGavin) "r-o-C-k."
(Adam Sandler) "Ohh. The "C" is silent."

(Darren McGavin) "You were brought up with every advantage, I bought you everything. Toys, cars, vacations, wearing apparel --"
(Adam Sandler) "Really I, uh, stole this shirt from Frank."
(Darren McGavin) "Yea, well whatever, it's all my fault. I made a mistake."
(Darren McGavin) "What? Are you some damned moron?"

(Darren McGavin) "Baton, could you lot pace in here a moment? I have big news."
(Adam Sandler) "ERIC, IS PREGNANT?"

Bradley Whitford as Eric

(Bradley Whitford) "Hey, tubby, how about a little bathroom reading? I have the Baronial 1983 event of Wrestling Earth here. At that place's a terrific article nigh a wrestler named the Revolting Hulk. Gee, you know somethin'? He kinda looks similar someone I know."
(Josh Mostel) "Where'd you get that?"
(Bradley Whitford) "I have a subscription. Bad guy. He threw one opponent out of the band and hitting a bunch of senior citizens. Male child, this wacko looks familiar."
(Josh Mostel) "What do I care near some stupid phony wrestling guy?"
(Bradley Whitford) "My God. In June 1983 he sabbatum on some guy's head and killed him."
(Josh Mostel) "It was simply a stunt. He was supposed to compression my leg if he was running curt of air."
(Bradley Whitford) "With this guy sitting on everyone'due south head, I wonder how he got his teaching degree."
(Josh Mostel) "No. No, you lot tin't do that to me. Those kids are my whole life."
(Bradley Whitford) "And so yous wouldn't want anything to happen that would brand 'em think less of y'all?"
(Bradley Whitford) "Max, are y'all ready to cooperate with me?"
(Josh Mostel) "Yes."
(Bradley Whitford) "Then Madison Hotels is as good as mine."

(Bradley Whitford) "That's right, I blackmailed you."

(Bradley Whitford) "So he's passed beginning form and moved on to second. whooptieto. Whatsoever more information, Rollo?"
(Rollo the Janitor) "Uh --"
(Rollo the Janitor) "Billy likes to drink soda, Miss Lippy's machine is green,"

(Bradley Whitford) "Is he going to accept a stupid party every time he passes a grade?"
(Larry Hankin) "Yous know, anybody's having a good time but you."
(Bradley Whitford) "Spoiled snot. Get outta here."

Theresa Merritt equally Juanita

(Theresa Merritt) "Ooh that boy'southward a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too."

Steve Buscemi as Danny McGrath

(Steve Buscemi) "Hello?"
(Adam Sandler) "Howdy? Is this Danny? Danny McGrath?"
(Steve Buscemi) "Yep."
(Adam Sandler) "The Danny McGrath who graduated from Knibb Highschool in 1984?"
(Steve Buscemi) "Yeah, who's this?"
(Adam Sandler) "Umm -- this is Billy Madison. You probably don't remember me but I went to loftier school with yous. And I, um, kinda gave yous a difficult fourth dimension dorsum then, and, uh, I did some things I thought were funny at the fourth dimension, and realized they were but mean and stupid. And I just chosen to apologize and promise y'all forgive me."
(Steve Buscemi) "Yeah, certain. Don't worry nearly it, it's no problem."
(Adam Sandler) "Wow, that'southward great. Well, I am sad, and perchance nosotros tin become together quondam and have some java."
(Steve Buscemi) "Yep, sure. I'd similar that."
(Adam Sandler) "Okay, smashing. I'll encounter y'all around."
(Steve Buscemi) "Okay. Bye."

Josh Mostel equally Principal Max Anderson

(Josh Mostel) "Mr. Madison, the Industrial Revolution changed the face of the modern novel forever. Discuss, citing specific examples."
(Adam Sandler) "Uh -- Okay. The Industrial Revolution to me is just like a story I know called "The Puppy Who Lost His Fashion." The world was irresolute, and the puppy was getting -- bigger."
(Adam Sandler) "Then, you run across, the puppy was similar industry. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, particularly the niggling boy; "club"; knew where to find 'em. Except that the puppy was a domestic dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution."
(Adam Sandler) "Knibb Loftier football game rules."
(Josh Mostel) "Mr. Madison, what you have simply said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were y'all fifty-fifty shut to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I honour you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
(Adam Sandler) "Okay, a simple "incorrect" would've done merely fine."

Larry Hankin as Carl

(Larry Hankin) "Billy is non an idiot."
(Bradley Whitford) "I'm not saying he's an idiot. I just call back he might not exist mature enough to run a Fortune Five Hundred visitor."

(Larry Hankin) "I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, y'all should have had some."
(Bradley Whitford) "Well, perchance if yous told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you."
(Larry Hankin) "I'm sad."
(Bradley Whitford) "Well, "sad" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach at present, does it Carl?"

Chris Farley equally Bus Driver

(Chris Farley) "That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean."
(Adam Sandler) "No, y'all don't."
(Chris Farley) "Well, non me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee."
(Adam Sandler) "No, they didn't."
(Chris Farley) "No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd exist like if they did, right? Everybody on, good, peachy, grand, wonderful."
(Chris Farley) "No yelling on the autobus."

(Kyle) "Hey, I dare you lot to throw your sandwich at the motorcoach driver."
(Chris Farley) "HEY."
(Bridgette Wilson) "Hey who threw that?"
(Chris Farley) "I'll turn this damn coach around. That'll terminate your precious field trip pretty damn quick huh. Little shit."

Dina Platias equally Miss Lippy

(Dina Platias) "I desire you all to run into a new friend Baton. Can anybody say hello to Billy?"
(Unnamed) "Hello, Billy."

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Last update: 11/29/2021 - 11:22

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Geez Kid Cant Even Read Billy Madison

Baton Madison Quotes

Baton Madison Quotes

Adam Sandler equally Billy Madison

Bridgette Wilson equally Veronica Vaughn

Norm Macdonald as Frank

Darren McGavin as Brian Madison

Bradley Whitford as Eric

Theresa Merritt equally Juanita

Steve Buscemi as Danny McGrath

Josh Mostel equally Principal Max Anderson

Larry Hankin as Carl

Chris Farley equally Bus Driver

Dina Platias equally Miss Lippy

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Boosted Film and TV Quotes

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